Freedom Weekend
by JB Fighter
Summary: The boys have earned an entire weekend off and they are sitting around bored out of their minds. When Kendall suggests that they all give one idea to do for a part of the day, crazy things begin to happen. Actually rated M for content LOT OF SLASH
1. Chapter 1: What to do

Hey all! This is my first BTR FanFic and very fresh. So fresh that it probably will be one of the worst things you will ever read. Don't expect another update until at least Sunday night at the very earliest, and even that is pushing it. Monday probably, or Tuesday. I have no idea. Just try to enjoy. ;)

Kendall groaned as Carlos hit the wall for the tenth time in a row.

"Carlos! For the last time, please STOP!" Kendall shouted.

"Why? It's fun," Carlos said, frowning.

"Logan, would you be kind enough to explain to him why it is necessary that he not slam his head into a wall repeatedly?" Kendall asked.

Logan nodded smartly. "If you hit your head too many times too hard then you are fifteen times more likely to have brain damage either immediately or possibly later in life, helmet or not."

Carlos and Logan immediately started a stare down and Kendall could almost see the daggers they were glaring at each other. James' snore made them all jump.

"JAMES!" Kendall screamed.

"My hair gel! Nobody move!" James shouted as he woke up. It was his first instinct to protect his hair gel and nobody understood why. They also did not really care enough to ask him either so they sort of let that matter be.

"God, I feel like all I am doing today is yelling at you guys," Kendall said, almost whining.

"Then don't yell at us, and don't wake us up," James snapped.

"We need to figure something out to do today," Carlos reasoned. "Gustavo gave us the entire weekend off and all we have done is...well, nothing."

All of the boys nodded and slumped back down together onto the couch.

"Any novel suggestions?" Kendall asked. The boys just looked at each other.

James glanced at his posse. "Um..."

--

A/N: James' "um" was also meant because I am saying that as well. My brain is fried right now and won't regenerate until my huge swim meet is over on Sunday so I would love if you would review/comment and give me some suggestions on what you want the guys to be doing. Keep in mind that this is a future (very tangled) slash story between the four boys. Anything will be accepted  
Thanks all!


	2. Chapter 2: Twister

Hey there! Thank you so much to everybody who reviewed my first chapter. These are going to progress in no particular order, it is all purely random. The first one was just a starter and this is where things will start to unfold. You won't see any slash or anything until the next chapter though. Enjoy!

*Kendall*

"I know!" Carlos shouted. Logan and I glanced up with wary looks on our faces. James was being an ass and continued to snooze on the couch. He could be so weird sometimes and I just never understood what he did or why. But he was my best friend and a part of me knew that I wasn't really supposed to know exactly what was going through his mind, as much as I wanted to.

"Let's play TWISTER!" I groaned.

"Carlos, of all the things in the WORLD that you could suggest, you choose _twister_?" He shook his head so vigorously I thought his helmet would go flying off of his head.

"Yeah! It's so much fun and I haven't played in it a while. Come on Ken Ken," Carlos whined. That was my nickname that the guys developed for me when we were in eighth grade. I hated it. They had mentioned Barbie one day and said that I would make the perfect Ken for her. So the name stuck and I still had yet to live it down.

I growled menacingly at Carlos and he just grinned widely at me. "I will do whatever it is that you want to do today as long as I don't have to hear that God awful 'nickname'," I bargained, using my fingers as air quotes.

"Yes!" Carlos laughed. I rolled my eyes at him and nudged James' sleeping form next to me.

"Hey, buddy, it's wakey-wakey time." James groaned.

"No, what are we doing?" He mumbled. It was almost incoherent but I had known my best friend for long enough to fully understand what he was saying to me.

"Carlos decided that we play Twister," I informed him.

"Really?" James said, sitting bolt upright with a huge grin on his face.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Are you...feeling all right?" he asked James. James and Twister and happy did not usually go together on an ordinary day.

"Uh, yeah," James said in a 'what are you stupid or something' voice. Logan held his hands up in defense and I just sighed heavily.

"All right guys, we have more than enough time to do plenty of things today so why don't we each take turns picking one thing to do. Everyone has to comply with it and there are no arguments or exceptions to anything," I said firmly.

"Agreed?" I said, giving each of my friends' hard stares.

They all nodded in response. I almost laughed at how funny the situation was but I was too far gone into my whole 'serious' charade to do so.

"So, Carlos, where are we getting our twister board and spinner from?" Logan asked. He was always the smart on who knew exactly what to ask.

"Um, the store, duh," Carlos answered, making Logan think that he was a moron.

"Geez Carlos, since when have you been so smart dammit?" Logan demanded. He was getting heated and I just groaned.

"All right, I'll get the game and you guys stay here and, please, try not to kill each other?"

"Fine," they all grumbled.

--

So I ran out to the store and bought Twister. Of course, I blew nearly $25 on it in the process but, I think that it was worth it in the end.

--

When I walked back into the apartment it was dead silence.

"Guys?" I said warily. I dropped the bag onto the couch and glanced around the area. They weren't in the kitchen, all of their bedroom doors were open, and the only door that was closed was the bathroom...

"AHHHH!!!" James, Carlos and Logan all came bursting out of the bathroom and tried to get out at the same time. It didn't work because it was a single doorway and they weren't exactly small guys. They ended up collapsing into a heap on the floor at my feet.

"Nice one boys," I smirked.

"Oh, shut up," Logan grumbled. "It's not like this was a combined effort," he protested.

"Oh?" I said skeptically.

He just sneered at me as he stood up and the rest of our trooped over to the sitting area. We picked up the table to clear some space out to lay the board down and opened up the box.

"Um, Kendall, what exactly did you buy again?" James said nervously.

"What do you mean, what did I buy? I bought twister like Carlos wanted," I told him, frowning. The three of them were sitting on the couch peering oddly into the box. It looked like twister on the outside at least, the package had been sealed in plastic, I didn't understand what was so weird about the game. I walked over to stand over Logan's shoulder and stared down into the box.

Laying on top of the pieces to the game was an old, used, bloody condom. Underneath it was an instruction manual on "How to 'Do It' in over 101 Positions".

"That is so nasty..." Logan breathed.

"Oh great, I just wasted 25 bucks on something that someone fucked up," I groaned.

"Well, _I'm _certainly not touching it," James sniffed. He could be such a drama king sometimes, but this was one time where I had to agree with him. None of us wanted to touch it, the distaste was written clearly on all of our faces, but we had to throw it away.

"I'll move it," I grumbled after a moment. It was actually beginning to smell and it was making me gag. None of the other guys had moved to clean it up anyway, so I went over to the kitchen and got a pair of thick, rubber gloves. When I came back the box was on the floor and the guys were cowering together on the couch.

"What the hell..." I murmured.

"A...a...sp-spider is o-o-over th-th-th-th-there," Carlos stuttered, pointing a shaking hand at the box. Sure enough, there was an enormous, hairy spider, sitting on top of the condom.

"That's it," I said finally. James looked like he was about to pass out and Logan seemed about ready to fall over backwards onto the floor.

"Carlos, you officially owe me $25 now." I grabbed the box and threw it out the window.

"There," I told them. "It's gone. The condom, the book, the game, and the huge spider." The three of them sighed and collapsed onto the couch.

"Any other bright ideas?" James asked. "NOT CARLOS?" He said, making a pointed look at our pathetic look friend.

"I have no idea," Logan said after a few minutes.

"Hmmm...how about...." James trailed off thoughtfully.

--

A/N: Any suggestions on what James should suggest as an idea?


	3. Chapter 3: Spin the Bottle

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, I really appreciate the feedback from the bottom of my heart. I am so glad that you all are enjoying my story, I get really excited when people say that they think it's funny, or they just like my story. I do not own any members of Big Time Rush as much as I would love to, credit goes to Nickelodeon for Characters and the boys for just being awesome!

*Carlos*

After what had happened with Kendall and the Twister box idea I felt really bad. I sort of just sulked around in the corner of the couch, away from the guys while still looking like I was in on the conversation. I just felt so awful about being the one who had suggested the idea of playing twister and insisting that we do, and then Kendall had to go out and spend all of that money? I felt awful. My stomach was churning uneasily inside as I recalled the look he had given me when he had noticed the spider on the box. It was one of frustration and also him struggling to forgive me for what had happened. I couldn't understand why he would want to forgive me for this. Did he think that this wasn't my fault? It was my idea...I was puzzled by it, not to mention the strange tightening I was getting in my chest every time I glanced over to look at him.

Whoa, strange feeling in my chest?

Feelings for one of my BEST FRIENDS just made me feel a little awkward. I slouched down as far as I could into the couch, trying to make myself invisible to my chums. Obviously, it wasn't far enough.

"Carlos, hey, Carlos, what do you think? You haven't said anything yet," James said. Him and the other two were giving me quizzical looks of eerie suspicion.

"Oh, sorry," I said sheepishly. First I suggest a shitty game, and now I can't even pay attention to my friends! James is so adorable when he gets confused...WHAT?!

"I was spacing," I told them.

"That's okay Carlos," Kendall said softly to me.

"My ideas were this: Truth or Dare, spin the bottle, freeze tag, or Rock Band," James told me, ticking each of them off on his fingers.

"Congratulations James, you can count," I said, grinning sarcastically. I couldn't help myself. I don't even know why I had said that in the first place, it just sort of seemed...right, and at the same time, incredibly cruel. He looked hurt momentarily and then stuck his tongue out at me in a five-year old way.

"Okay, ummm....truth or dare is dumb, freeze tag, absolutely not, Rock Band, eh, I like spin the bottle," I said after a moment.

"Wait," Logan said, interjecting quite hesitantly. "Doesn't spin the bottle require...kissing?" He asked, gulping visibly. Kendall and James grinned at each other and I just chuckled at Logan's obvious nervousness.

"Oh, don't worry, you'll still have your virginity when we're done, Lola," James snickered.

Logan paled to a nice beige and I laughed harder.

"It'll be fun, don't worry," Kendall said kindly.

"Kendall, don't be too mean," James chided lightly. They were acting very strange towards each other. Were they dropping hints to each other? No way, that is WAY too weird, besides, they are the two who are the most into the girl scene anyway, so why would I even consider the possibility that they would be? Oh, right, I'm the one who always slams his head into walls daily because I think it's fun. I chuckled again and Logan nearly lost it.

"What is so _funny_?" He exclaimed. His voice was getting exceedingly high, like it was when he was impersonating a girl the other weekend. This was only the second weekend that we had gotten any sort of break from Gustavo and it was much appreciated.

"Nothing," I said calmly. "I was simply laughing at something I had thought about myself," I assured him. "We will have lots of fun playing spin the bottle, don't you worry."

"I gotta get new friends," Logan muttered.

James' laughter could be heard as he strutted down the hallway to find a bottle. Kendall reclined in his seat on the couch and Logan tried his very best to stop shaking.

"Logan, why in the world are you so nervous about kissing guys?" Kendall asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Because, because," Logan's voice was getting decreasingly quiet. "I haven't even kissed a girl yet," He admitted.

Kendall actually just shrugged.

"Don't worry about it," He looked like he could have cared less when Carlos had said that. "You will eventually. For now though, you have us to practice with," Kendall smirked.

"I've got it!" James called triumphantly. He returned within seconds carrying a six-pack of small bottles of Grey Goose Vodka, an empty, old fashioned coke bottle, his iPod, and speakers.

"Why the hell did you bring _alcohol_?" Logan asked, sounding impossibly confused.

"Because," James said. "If we get drunk, there is a greater chance that we won't care as much about kissing each other," He proclaimed.

"James," Kendall said in a voice filled with compassion and reason. "We still have at least three hours if not four, of daylight left today. Don't you think we should hold off the drinking, until at least tonight?" He questioned. His logic made sense even to me, and Kendall didn't even explain it. Logan seemed to relax as James slowly nodded his head.

"Great, that's just wonderful," Kendall said sarcastically.

"What is it?" James asked, concern etched in his face.

"Now we have nothing to do," He grumbled.

"Hey, it was your brilliant logic," I said accusingly. He stuck his tongue out at me and I suddenly wanted it in my mouth. GROSS! Why would I want Kendall's tongue in my mouth?

"Well, I guess it's Logan's turn," James said moodily, slumping onto the couch.

"Hey! What about me?" Kendall protested. He smacked James on the head affectionately.

"Ow? That's because I want to save the best for last," James smirked.

"And you know it will be," Kendall said haughtily.

"All right then Logan, what do you have in mind for us to do today?" He inquired. Logan scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Well..." He trailed off.

--

A/N: I hope you liked and don't hate me too much for postponing all of the boys' REAL ideas until later chapters. I love writing long stories and actually hope that I can finish this one, especially since I am getting such wonderful feedback and help from all of my fantastic readers. But yes, I do need your ideas for this part. What should we have darling, precious, innocent little Logan suggest?


	4. Chapter 4: Trivia

This is going to be the last time that we get a suggestion from one of the guys and it doesn't work out because something else has to go wrong. It sort of spiraled out into….well, you'll see. All of the facts I got off of the internet so I cannot say if they are honestly true or not. Disclaimer on the Character of BTR and the info about the...well, you'll see soon enough. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of my reviewers. You have no idea how much that means to me. Enjoy!

**Logan**

"Why don't we play trivia?" I suggested. It seemed harmless enough...

"YEAH!" James yelled excitedly.

"We can play Sex Trivia!" My jaw fell open.

"What did you just say?" I said it more like a statement of disbelief than an actual question. I was absolutely stunned. James was gorgeous, yeah I know that's gay, but honestly, _sex trivia_?

"I said..." He started to repeat it but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"Yes, yes, I know what you said, but why _sex trivia_? Do you even have playing cards for it?" The moment the words left my mouth I instantly regretted them. James shot up out of his seat and scurried back to his room for the second time that day within the half hour. What was scarier to me was that he reappeared almost instantly: he knew exactly where the cards were because he was probably using them not too long ago. For what, I have no idea.

"I got 'em!" James exclaimed, waving a bright pink and blue stack of cards above his head. He tossed the wad to me and they landed in my lap.

"Sex Trivia: Everything you could ever learn and want to forget" was what was written on the back of the cards. I wanted to die.

My name is Logan. I am sixteen years old living in an apartment with three of my best friends in the entire world and I am the only one who has not had a girlfriend yet. There is a reason for that. I am a book worm and I love learning. I also do my best to stay as far away as possible from anything sexually related. Just thinking about the word 'sex' made my skin crawl. I had thought for a very long time that I would be a virgin and die and virgin. Unfortunately, I could tell that after I played this game that that would not be the case.

"SO! Who wants to go first?" James asked, excitedly. He snatched the cards off of my lap.

"Carlos! Buddy! How about you?" he glance down at the first card on the deck.

"How long...does a pig's orgasm last for?" My stomach lurched and I could tell that my lunch was not going to stay with me if this was going to continue, and possibly get much worse.

"Um..." Carlos thought about that for a moment.

"Half an hour?" He guessed. James looked perplexed and I gagged again. I didn't even understand why I was being such a pansy.

"How the hell did you know that?" James asked with a mystified look on his face.

"Seriously?" Carlos replied, confusion and victory on his face.

"Yeah! All right, now it's Ken Ken's turn!" James exclaimed.

"What the hell?" Kendall whined. "I thought I told you guys to not call me that..." He looked pathetic and usually I would feel very sympathetic for him but today, I was too damn queasy to care about little else.

"Aww...I'm sorry," James made a pouty face at him in mockery. "Anyway, what is the average number of erections that a guy will have during both the day and night time?"

That was it.

I flew out of my seat and into the bathroom. I could feel the blood rushing to my head and my food following close behind. I retched into the toilet for a solid three minutes. I didn't care if they thought I was weak, this is me. But I had to admit, this is pretty pathetic, especially since we aren't even watching anything, just, learning...things. Maybe it was time I learned what pleasure really felt like. I had always like looking and Kendall and James, maybe...no. No, no, no, no, no. That was just so wrong on so manly levels. I coughed one last time and started to stand up. I was really dizzy from the blood in my head and my stomach felt hollowed out now that I had just emptied it. I rinsed my mouth out with Listerine and splashed water on my face. It felt refreshing and I sighed. I had no idea why I was acting so strange today. I couldn't take my eyes off of Kendall earlier and now I'm vomiting at the sound of the words 'erection' and 'orgasm.' Yes, they are a little...awkward, but why the hell am I vomiting? Am I getting sick? Maybe. I plodded back to the sitting area where I expected to hear laughs and jokes but instead only silence.

"Logan!" James breathed a sigh of relief when he saw me. Kendall stood up and hugged me. Shivers ran down my spine and a sweet feeling filled my chest.

"We were so worried about you when you just ran off. Are you okay? Are you feeling better now?" He asked with concern in his voice.

"I think so, but do I feel warm to you at all?" I asked him. He pressed a soft, gentle hand to my forehead for a moment and then frowned.

"You're not hot, but you're not exactly normal either," Kendall told me worriedly.

"Talk about a double insult," Carlos snickered.

"No, seriously Carlos. If Logan is sick we need to help him get better," Kendall said. He looked upset about something but I couldn't tell what it was about.

"James, go get me a thermometer please," He asked. James nodded and set off.

"Come on," Kendall said, leading me to the longer stretch of the couch. He motioned me to lie down.

I reclined in the couch and my head began to spin as Kendall leaned over me. His warm breath blossomed on my face and I shivered.

"You're cold," he said immediately. Kendall whirled around and retreated to his room to grab a blanket for me, thinking that I was cold.

"Here you go," James said, returning with the thermometer. He passed it to me and I stuck it in my mouth. By the time Kendall returned it was beeping at a temperature of 99.9 degrees and Kendall's brow creased in concern.

"This isn't good," He said worriedly.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock," Carlos snapped. Kendall glared at him.

"And this isn't just because of the possibility that he could get murdered by Gustavo if he doesn't get better soon and he develops a cough, it is also because he has no reason to be sick. There is no cold weather down here to get sick from, he doesn't take cold showers, he hasn't eaten any bad food, and that wouldn't give him a temperature anyway, and there really is no other explanation. It doesn't make any sense," he muttered.

"Well, all that we can do is keep him warm, and play our games on a much smaller and easier level now," James said. I started to sulk. I didn't want to ruin the guys' weekend, it's not like we get these every five days. They were going to have to suffer because of me and I didn't want that.

"Guys, you can still go do stuff without me, you'll be fine," I said.

"No way," Kendall told me, shaking his head. "I'm not doing anything without you. I wouldn't do anything without you, James, or Carlos. One of our brothers is sick and I am going to take care of him until he gets better," He said firmly. When Kendall used that tone of voice I knew that there was no point in trying to argue with him. I sighed, defeated.

"The same thing goes for me," James nodded, his eyes full of concern for me. It made me blush which they all probably assumed was my body heating up.

"And me," Carlos agreed. I had the best brothers in the world.

"You guys are the best," I said with as much gratitude as I could put into my voice. I smiled at them. "I love you guys."

"We love you too, Logan," Kendall and James said softly. My cheeks flared with heat and I knew that I had fallen both hard and fast for my two best friends.

A/N: This one took me a while to write because, well, I got kind of lazy. Sorry it isn't as funny as the other chapters but I think that when I get into a little bit of the more serious stuff like Logan realizing he is crushing really hard on his two best friends, something a little bit more serious has to happen to take the tone down to a more sophisticated level. Hope all enjoyed.

Please REVIEW it is much appreciated!!!!


	5. Chapter 5: Memories

And this is exactly where things begin to get just a little bit more difficult for me. I'm not sure why but this took me a long time to think up. I hope it isn't too awful! Thank you so much to my faithful reviewers, I can't thank you enough!

--

**James**

I was worried. Not just because Logan was sick, but because Kendall was worried as well. I loved him. There is no point lying about it, I'm in love with my best friend. I think that he might know, but I'm just glad that he hasn't asked me about it yet either way. I am also kind of jealous of Logan though, because of all of the attention that he is getting right now from Kendall. I wanted to be the one he was giving the concerned, caring looks to. It is awful, I know it is, but some things in my life I just have a really hard time controlling. My feelings happen to be one of them.

"Logan, do you need anything? Water? Cough drops? Soup?" Kendall was fretting over him and I was burning with anger and shame. I was angry because Logan was getting the attention and I was ashamed because I was feeling like that. The last time something like this had happened to me was when I was around eleven or twelve years old and my sister was still alive.

*Flashback*

"James! Don't hit your sister, it's not nice!" My mother scolded me. Janell, my eight year old sister was always getting so much attention from my parents that I felt that sometimes they forgot I even existed.

Kendall always told me that it wasn't true, that another small child in the family just took up a lot of their time, and that they knew that I could take care of myself. Even if that was true, I was still extremely jealous. It was almost like I was born with a spawn of the Green Monster inside of me.

"Come on sweetie, I'll get you a cookie and we can sit down and watch a movie together, okay?" My mom smiled down at my little brunette sister. It was so unfair that I wanted to scream. She always got her way, even when things are going perfectly for her! I never got anything like that anymore. I hated my sister. Sometimes I just wished that she had never been born.

I sat down on the grass in my backyard, fuming. I didn't want to go inside because I would just be ignored. I couldn't go to Kendall's, he was out playing hockey with some of his other friends. I was alone. Yes, I was a twelve year old boy with virtually no friends.

"Woof!" My huge German Shepard barked at me and I glanced up. He was growling at something in a tree and I searched for it. There was nothing there.

"What is it boy?" I said to him. He just snarled in response and jumped at the tree. All of a sudden there was an earsplitting explosion of shrieking metal and screams. It made my blood curdle and I shuddered. I whirled around and dashed to the front of my house to see what had caused the commotion. I saw my father run out of the house a second before I reached the front side of it. My heart nearly stopped.

Smoking on the foot of my driveway was my mothers' small, old, mustang with an enormous hole in the left side of the windshield. I learned later that the hole was from the impact of my sister's head smashing into it. My mother had slammed her head onto the steering wheel so hard that her brain hit the front of her skull and was destroyed.

Her had smashed into another car as it was backing out of the driveway and had killed the other driver.

Two souls were damaged that day and three lives were lost. The driver of the other vehicle, my mother, and my little sister were killed instantly. My father and I were never the same people again.

I never knew why my mother had gotten into the car with my sister, or why she had made such a grave mistake. I never knew what my sister was doing in the front seat, or why she went into the windshield.

I only know that I would feel guilty, like it was all my fault for the rest of my life.

*End of Flashback*

The hole in my chest had never close up completely, but I later learned that whenever I was around Kendall, it diminished significantly. I watched him scurry around our flat looking for something for Logan but I had already thrown up my shield. Whenever I got this upset and remembered that disastrous day, I threw up a shield. I blocked out everything: thoughts, sounds, sights, smells. I made everything seem unreal and hid. I didn't know what else to do when I was younger and it eventually because instinctual. And the only person who could pull me out of it? You guessed it: Kendall.

"James?" It was a muffled call from Logan and I forced myself to pull down a little bit of my shield.

"Yeah bro," I said softly. I was so vulnerable right now, so raw and real that I was afraid to even have an inch of my shield lowered. Logan looked so weak though, so ill, he looked even worse then I felt and I was momentarily consumed with sorrow for the other boy.

"Can I...can I ask you a question?" He said in a hoarse voice. I nodded and I knelt down next to his head. He reached up from his position on the couch to brush a strand of hair away from my face.

"Who do you love?" Logan asked me after a moment. I flinched. His words were spoken tenderly but they still cut through me like ice. How was I supposed to tell him that I was in love with one of our brothers? I contemplated lying to him, but then I would feel bad afterward. Then I considered telling him the truth. He was really tired and probably wouldn't remember it if I did, and neither Carlos nor Kendall were around at the moment. I sighed.

"Logan, I love..." My breath caught in my throat as Kendall stepped back into the room.

"What about Logan and love?" He said with a grin. I could feel my heart pounding loudly in my chest and I couldn't tear my eyes away from Kendall. He looked gorgeous. I had never truly noticed it before but he was. The first time I had started liking him was after I had broken up with my girlfriend in seventh grade. It was the last time I had dated. He had hugged me for a long time while I cried and I realized that I liked being held by him.

"James?" Kendall and Logan both asked me, sounding worried. I couldn't breathe. I wanted Kendall to know how I felt about him so badly but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to to take his rejection. I flew into the bathroom and heaved.

--

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! I'm sorry about the deaths. Whenever I write, I sort of just let whatever flows out and whatever happens to sound the best. Unfortunately, death was the best. Sorry it was so short. **Please REVIEW, it is always very much appreciated!!!**


	6. Chapter 6: Kill Me Slowly

Hi everyone! Sorry there was such a long wait there. I was on spring break for a week, and quite frankly I was just being a lazy pig. Literally. Anyway, I'm finally going to start focusing on Kendall and James' relationship with Logan thrown into the mix. Carlos is just going to be lost and alone, I'm sorry. At least, he will be for a little while. But I don't want to give away too much of my very loosely planned story. Sorry about everybody throwing up the last couple of chapters, I couldn't think of anything else. Hope everyone is enjoying it so far!

**Kendall**

Icy dread filled my entire body as I heard James in the bathroom and watched Logan cough violently. I had no idea what to do. I cared about all of my brothers so much, Logan and James especially, I just had no clue as to who I cared about the most. It was torment to watch both of them suffer before my eyes without anything that I could do to help them though. I finally decided to leave Logan for a moment and hurried to check on James.

He was slumped on the floor in front of the toilet, leaning on it for support. His face was beaded with sweat and his face was lightly shaded with red and I ached to hold him in my arms, to comfort him, to tell him it wasn't going to last forever, that he was going to get better soon, but I didn't.

I knelt down next to my best friend and brushed his bangs away while at the same time feeling for a temperature. Normal.

"James," I sighed. "What's wrong with you? Whenever you vomit, you're either always feverish, or really upset. You aren't running a temperature, what is it that's bothering you?" I asked him softly. I was trying to be tender and calm, I learned very quickly at an early age that screaming and yelling do not help the situation, especially when negative feelings are involved.

James gazed up at me, his dark, hazel brown eyes muddied with confusion, pain, and pleading for something that I couldn't see.

"Kendall," James whispered. My name ghosted across his lips and I shivered as images of his soft, heart-shaped lips on mine. I pushed the onslaught of unwanted, but pleasant visions out of my mind for the moment.

"Just please tell me one thing," He said, pleading to me to answer him truthfully with his eyes. I nodded solemnly.

"Who do you love?" James' voice came out in a voice barely above a whisper. If the house hadn't been so silent, I don't think I would've been able to have heard him.

My breath hitched in my throat and I could tell that time had frozen for a moment when I was asked that question. I wanted nothing more than to answer him, to tell him what he wanted to hear, to please him, but how could I answer a question that I haven't even figured out yet?

"I..." It felt as if my vocal chords had been paralyzed and my entire body was numb with thoughts and feelings swirling throughout, like a tornado on the move.

The pain in James' eyes had only been marginal moments ago, but it was slowly consuming him. His eyes were glazing over as I watched my best friend shut himself down. He was retreating back into that space, that area into his mind where only he had access to, the place that he had created to be a safe haven after he lost his mother and sister. There were only a few times where I had ever been able to pull him out of it, and I could tell immediately that this would not be one of those times.

"Forget it Kendall," James' voice came out cold, hollow, but still firm and commanding. "Just forget about it." He stalked out of the bathroom with searing pain slapped across his face and a black, and death-like aura about him.

I slumped down further onto the floor, feeling my own pain crawling under my skin.

Who did I love? Sure I was attracted to both Logan and James, but who did I truly have feelings for? This was ridiculous. I was pushing both of them away from me and I didn't know how to stop it. I didn't even have anybody to talk to about this, because, they were my best friends. I had Carlos, yes, but how the hell was I supposed to tell another one of my brothers that I was in love with two of them? Yeah, I'd get my head bashed in with his helmet.

Okay, crazy person check. Who did I think I was? Some whiny, pathetic, love-sick girl who just gets all depressed and starts cutting herself because she can't figure out a problem? No way. I was a strong, impressive, love-sick BOY who gets determined and tries to think of the solution, and _not_ the problem.

My problem was that I didn't know who I loved and I also didn't know how to solve it. So what are some possible solutions? I could have both of them kiss me and see which kiss I felt more...feelings towards. No, I'll only use that one as a last resort. Maybe I'll just go ahead and try spending equal amounts of time with both of them, and see which one I want to be with more. It seems like a sensible solution.

That is of course, until I get discovered.

I dragged myself out of the bathroom, feeling sick about James, and worried for Logan. I was torn. Logan was lying on the couch, looking even more pale than usual, and Carlos was nowhere to be found.

"Is James okay?" Logan asked me. His voice was weak and scratchy.

"Yeah, I think so. Would you like me to make you something hot to drink? Tea, maybe?" I offered. He nodded. I set about my task in the kitchen when I heard Logan's voice again.

"He's done it again, hasn't he?" Logan whispered. My body froze. The numbness had returned to my body and I was glad for the counter underneath the glass mug I was holding.

"He's gone and locked himself up in the corner of his mind and put his body on autopilot. His soul is with his family right now, isn't it?" My hand slammed against the counter and the mug I was holding shattered with the sound echoing off of the walls.

"We _are_ his family, Logan," I snarled. "James was talking to me in the bathroom and he began to lose it. This happens to him whenever he feels a situation has gotten out of control and he can't do anything to fix it. James should be needing comfort from us, except for the fact that _I'm _his fucking problem. I'm the one who he's angry at, I'm the one who can't help him because I can't fucking tell him how I honestly feel about him! You know why I can't do that? Because I don't know how I honestly feel about you. This isn't just his fault, it's not just my fault, and it's not just your fault. This was a terrible, joint effort. Somehow, we need to fix this. We need to fix this, or James could be in serious danger." Logan was curled up on the couch, fear scrawled all over his adorable face.

"Why?" Was all that Logan asked.

"Because every time that he has gotten himself holed up like this, he has tried to die."

A/N: Okay, I have no idea why I suddenly went from humor to horror, but it was what sounded the best to me and I also just really needed to update. Hopefully it will get a little bit more upbeat and happy, I might even add in a really annoying twist in the story, but that's all I'm saying for now. **Please review!! It is always appreciated more than you could imagine!**


	7. Chapter 7: A Dark Beach

Talk about a long pause! I just got so caught up in a whirlwind of just about everything that could go on in my life. Story updates will be coming just a bit slower for the next few weeks, I'm sorry to say. I hope this one was even kind of worth the wait, but probably not. It's just mainly James sitting around moping and trying to find a solution to his...problem.

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**James**

I just wanted to die. Or scream at the top of my lungs. Either one of them would be sufficient for me, but which was the more preferable option? Dying? It's harmless to all but me because nobody is around to love me. Friends are a scam, and you have nobody else when your family is dead and gone. So why shouldn't I just end it now? Oh, right, because Kendall hasn't answered me yet. But why wait around for someone who is just going to turn me down and hurt me even more?

I was so confused. I finally decided to just start wandering around, following the winds and wherever my feet decide to lead me. I ended up on a strip along the beach with the sun setting on the water to my right. I was just so torn up and destroyed inside that I didn't have any other places to store the broken pieces. I was lost. I turned to my right to cross the street and a young boy accidentally crashed into a parked car. If I hadn't been so depressed and upset it probably would have made me smile, but now, nothing could. Nothing except for him.

The sounds of the street were muted and the feeling of the fading sun's rays on my face were ignored. The sunset was beautiful but it seemed bleak in comparison to my memory of Kendall. I had no idea what to do. Was I to simply mope around for the rest of my life, waiting for him to tell me how he feels about me? Should I go back and try and confront him about this? No, I couldn't. This wasn't an issue that some little eight year old kid had with his brother about whose dinosaur shaped chicken it was with their mommy as their judge.

No, this was something much deeper, and much more serious.

I kicked off my shoes and let the sand run between my toes. I trudged down to the shoreline where the water pawed at my feet. It was cool and crisp and a gorgeous sight, but one that I was not able to truly enjoy.

I sighed deeply and plopped down onto the soft sand. The wind ruffled my hair and the breeze made it feel as if Kendall had come up behind me and run his fingers through it. Had my heart not been so shrouded in misery, it would have sunk at the thought of Kendall touching me tenderly like that.

I drew my knees up to my chest in a feeble attempt to close the aching hole that was still bleeding through my chest. It was pulsating around the edges and that was not even the worst of it. The venom that was spreading throughout my body was dragging the very core of my being into a swirling and all consuming void was terrifying. All that I wanted, the only thing that I had ever truly desired in my life, was to know if Kendall shared the same feelings as I do with me.

His hesitation had been clear enough.

Even if he did feel that way about me, he wasn't completely sure about it like I was, there might be somebody else in his life.

The thought of being 'just another person' in his life was enough to make my eyes water and sink even deeper into my bottomless pit of despair. I couldn't have ever remembered being so depressed in my life, even after I had lost my entire family.

My loving mother and sister, what had they ever done for me anyway? I was nothing to them. It was my father who was the one who really looked after me. He took me to hockey games, we went to get ice cream together, hell, we even shopped together. I loved my father almost as fiercely as I love Kendall now, just in a different way.

I buried my head in my knees, choking back the sobs that threatened to escape from my lips as the memories of Kendall, my father, and myself, all shared. They flooded through my mind in a ceaseless river that had been dammed for years. They had been protected by many barriers in my head that I had long since established. My past with my two favorite people had been the best time in my life, aside from learning that I was going to be living in Cali with Kendall, and my two other best friends.

Alas, here I was, sad as hell, pathetic as a purple bunny rabbit, and lonely as the devil. Tears leaked out of my eyes and slid down my face, reflecting the blood red sun that was nearly gone on the shoreline. The water was lapping my feet comfortably now, but I hardly noticed. Why should I care if I caught a cold from the ocean and evening breeze? My life was nothing if Kendall wasn't a part of it.

The torrent of tears continued until I was drenched in salty sea water and the moon had long since greeted me.

The icy dread that was dripping like poison throughout my insides was ten times as bad as the water I was sitting in. I laid down on my back as I let the water consume me. I felt myself slipping away as people began shouting and the sirens screamed in the distance. None of it mattered though, Kendall didn't love me

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A/N: I know, I know, so depressing and sad and dark and gloomy, but it is going to start getting better now. Well, after the next chapter where we find out what happened with Kendall and Logan, that is. The next one will be the whole exchange between the two of them, and then, yeah. **Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8: Understanding

I am so sorry I have been away for so long! I just got really distracted with everything and stuff so, well, I'm going to stop making excuses for everything and just let you read and find out for yourself if the wait was worth it or not. Hopefully the next update won't take nearly as long next time. Enjoy!

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Kendall**

I was torn. Never before had I felt so detached from my own mind body and soul than at that particular moment. James walked out of the apartment and Logan was lying on the couch, sick and weak. I loved both of them but I still had not figured out who was my one true love. It sounded silly because I was a guy, but there was nothing that was more important to me at that moment than figuring out if Logan was the one for me. I did not know when James would be back, and this was about as good a chance as any, so I would take it.

"Kendall?" Logan called. "Are you okay?" He asked me, confusion layered thick in his voice while weakly attempting to mask a small note of worry.

I spun around and stared down at his big brown eyes. Usually they were a darker color but now, they were almost melting chocolate. I could tell that it was only from his being ill, though. He never let his guard down unless he was physically weak or about to reach his breaking point. It felt like needles in my chest to have to see him looking so poorly but what could I do? Kiss him?

I knelt down in front of him and cupped his face in my hands.

"Kendall..." Logan whispered. Hearing him say my name made me crazy and I couldn't help myself. His eyelids became heavy with desire and I allowed myself to drink it in.

My eyes roamed his face, his beautiful, flawless face. The sudden thought made me visualize James' face, which was impossibly gorgeous. Logan reached up a hand to the back of my head, drawing me down to him and our lips met.

My heart felt like it was going to explode, but not in the good way.

I pulled back immediately.

"Kendall, what's wrong?" Logan asked, suddenly fearful because of my abrupt retreat. 

"I..." My voice trailed off as thought began a wild chase around my mind. This was all wrong. Why did I feel so upset? So torn apart? So guilty?

I knew immediately that I had to be with James.

But the questions still remained: where had he gone?

"Kendall?" Logan's voice dropped me hard and heavy back to reality and I looked down sharply at the ill teenage boy on the couch. He looked frail and weak, I felt guilty, apologetic, and sorrowful.

"I know that you may love me and that you thought I did too, but I just don't think that you are the right one for me, Logan. I'm sorry." My voice sounded hollow, empty, expressionless, but at the same time, cold.

I watched as Logan crumbled inside. There was nothing I could do to change it, the damage was done. Besides, it was either this or he found out from anyone else other than myself and I think this was the best way.

"I'm sorry you had to hear it but I think that it was at least better that you were able to hear it from me, right?" I asked him, my voice much softer now.

He nodded woodenly as tears began slipping down his porcelain face.

"O...okay, Kendall," Logan said, his voice trembling. "I understand."

I was stunned. Understand? No, that was a lie. Maybe he does, but that does not mean that he can accept it.

"Logan, you're my best friend. I don't want to lose you over this. God, I don't know anybody who has to go through this. But if anybody can pull through it it's us, right?" I said gently. He nodded at me through his tears.

"I...I just...I'm sorry. It's not what I expected, that's all. God, I must sound like such a girl right now," he sniffled. I ruffled his hair affectionately.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure we are all sounding like girls right now, except for Carlos. Damn he is so lucky!" I grumbled. Logan giggled nervously and hiccuped through his tears. It reminded me of Katie when she was younger.

"Yeah, about Carlos, does he know...anything? About any of us? You, me or James?" Logan asked with obvious discomfort in his features.

I frowned.

"No, now that you mention it, I don't think that he does. At least, I haven't told him, you obviously haven't told him, and James, well, I have no idea if James told him or not but I highly doubt it." Logan nodded with a furrowed brow.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before I spoke up again, surprised at the sound of my own voice.

"I'm worried," I said quietly.

Logan glanced up at me with an odd look.

"About James?" He asked. I nodded sadly.

"He just ran off on me like an antelope from a lion," I whispered. "Logan, he's been gone for over three hours." My voice was hoarse and I wanted to cry. It was painful to have to think about James without knowing if he was okay or not.

"I know it hurts, I know you're worried, but you have to calm down a little and just wait it out a bit longer," Logan advised.

"Okay, but if he's still AWOL in a half an hour I'm calling him," I said firmly.

"Uh, Kendall, James left his phone on his bed table. He was so upset and angry and zoned out that when he left he forgot his cell. Sorry," He said apologetically. The sympathy for my pain was easy to see on his face but it still did not lesson the blow any more. If nothing else, it only made me even more anxious to have him back at home.

I was burning with desire to be able to go out and just hold him in my arms, but I didn't even know where he was. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Logan, I've had it. I need to go out and find James and I'll search all night if I have to. I'm sorry to have to leave you but I'm going to go nuts if I have to wait another second for him to come home. I'll see you later." I told him.

"I understand," Logan said, nodding firmly. "I'll see you when you get home. If you need anything, call me."

We locked eyes for an instant and I knew that we now had an unbelievable understanding of each other, better than we ever had before. We understood.

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A/N: A bit of cheese and twstiness but now you know about who is with who, for the most part, anyway. **Please review! It is always very helpful and unbelievable appreciated!**


	9. Chapter 9: Relief

Whew! This is definitely the longest chapter I have for a story yet. The song in this chapter is called "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" by Taylor Swift. She happens to be one of my all-time favorite authors. Sorry if you don't like her, but when I was writing it I thought of the song, so, I hope you all enjoy this and REVIEW. Peace 3

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James **

After freezing my entire body down to the core, my mind had begun to shut itself down and I eventually blacked out.

All I can recall is that I heard someone screaming my name.

It sounded fearful, and sad.

I was told that I was out for over 30 hours and that a friend had been by my side the entire time I was out. I was in a hospital bed.

The covers were scratchy and thin but the top blanket was softer and warmer. I shivered involuntarily.

"James?" A soft voice called to me. It was right in my ear but it was like sweet music that filled me up and warmed me to the deepest depths of my essence.

I cracked my eyes open. Light streamed in painfully and I blinked several times to try and get them to adjust.

"Thank God," I heard the voice whisper even softer. A hand softer than silk grasped my own and I heard a deep sigh of relief.

I rolled my head to the right and I saw the face of an angel just inches away. A delectable smell of dark chocolate and roses mingled with a tiny hint of Axe. It was making my head spin.

Golden brown strands of hair fell into the eyes of-what appeared to me-as a God. Molten, chocolate brown orbs gazed down into my soul with fear, relief, and pure joy.

"I was so worried about you," he whispered hoarsely. It sounded as if he had been crying.

"Why? I was fine," I replied, puzzled. My brain felt fuzzy and my limbs seemed heavier than lead weights to me. I could hardly move, let alone think.

He just shook his head of golden locks and my heart seemed to shimmer like the sun glowing on his hair.

"You left. We had a fight and you left. You stormed out of the house and disappeared for over three hours. I got so worried that I decided to come after you. The only possible place that I could think of to look for you was the beach.  
"Sure enough, you were curled up in a ball, shivering, drenched in ice cold sea water and you were nearly sleeping in the water.  
"It was terrifying to see you like that, but I called for help immediately after I pulled you out and onto dry sand. The ambulance came soon afterwards and I tried to ride with you, but, they almost didn't let me, I wouldn't let go of you though, and, well...they couldn't get you to lose your grip on my arm." He sniffed. His eyes were beginning to glisten with tears as he swallowed a sob.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

He just shook his head.

"No, don't be," he said firmly. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have acted the way I had before. I feel terrible about it. You almost died because of me," he cried.

"No, you didn't send me to the beach, you didn't put me in the water, you didn't sit me down and tell me to fall asleep, I ran away and did all of that on my own, you simply acted in character, there was nothing either of us could have done to change it, it's my fault just as much as it is yours, if not more." I told him softly. I ran a few fingers through his golden, silky hair.

"I figured it out," he said after a few moments of silence.

"What did you figure out?" I asked him, still combing my fingers through his hair.

"I figured out that I truly and honestly love you."

My heart seemed to skip a beat and my entire body froze. I never imagined in a thousand years that I would ever hear him say that.

"It happened after you left. I did some serious thinking and I discovered that you are the one I love. I thought that I had feelings for Logan which is why I was questioning myself, but I had to figure out the truth so, well, when you left, I kissed him." Instinctively my breath snagged in my throat.

"I was trying to figure out if I felt any spark at all from kissing him, but instead of feeling just nothing, it resembled more revulsion. I couldn't stand to keep doing it and all I thought about was you. The whole time I could only see your face. I had to stop almost immediately. As much as I hated hurting Logan, I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you even more," he told me.

I allowed myself to process this information for a moment as we sat in silence, listening the the lull of the machinery whirring and beeping.

He kept thinking about me? This was all a dream, it couldn't be real. It's too good to be true.

"I almost don't believe you, but I know that this is more real than the sky being blue, and money being dirty." I replied. Kendall grinned at me and my heart soared.

My entire body felt weightless and my life unimportant. The fact that I was incapacitated in a hospital bed was irrelevant to the moment I was currently living in. I wanted to live because of Kendall. Not for myself, not for my friends, not for my job, or anything else in the world. Only because of him, I wanted to live for him. I knew I made him happy and that was all that mattered to me.

"'I'm only up when you're not down,'" Kendall sang softly. I smiled as I sang the next line.

"'Don't want to fly if you're still on the ground, it's like no matter what I do.'"

"'Well you drive me crazy half the time, the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true, and I'm only me when I'm with you,'" we finished together. The song that was written as a solo worked better as a harmony.

Kendall and I simply sat there and stared deeply into each other's eyes. We gazed down into the depths of each other's souls to see what was there and to understand even more about our new mate's.

I patted the empty space on the bed next to me and Kendall hopped up to join me.

He sunggled in closer to me, underneath my arm and buried his head in my chest.

"I was so scared that I had lost you," he said quietly, his voice muffled from my clothing.

"When I saw you curled up in a fetal position, unmoving, unresponsive, hardly even breathing, it scared me beyond belief. I couldn't breathe myself. I don't want to see you like that again."

"I know it upset you," I replied softly. "but now that everything is in the clear between us, I doubt that we will have a repeat of it ever again," I promised him, wiping a tear from his cheek.

"I love you too much," I whispered. My chest tightened at my own words but I knew in my heart they were honest and true.

The glimmer and gleam in his eyes that appeared after I said it confirmed to me that he knew and understood I was speaking from my heart. He trusted me and I knew he felt exactly the same way.

I drowned myself in his gaze and leaned down to touch his lips with my own. They were soft and gentle like a spring breeze. I thought I would explode with joy when he responded to my kiss.

It lasted for only a few seconds but it was bliss. It was enough.

He rested his forehead against mine and smiled.

"I love you so much, James," Kendall sighed.

He kissed me again, but this time with more passion and ferocity. His lips met mine in a crash like cymbals and tickled them with his tongue, request entrance which I eagerly granted. I ran my fingers through his hair and gripped it for a better hold on his head as he began to moan into my mouth as I danced with his tongue. He tasted of dark chocolate and strawberries and reminded me of home. I held him even tighter to myself as he clutched at strands of my hair.

I was enraptured by our embrace and didn't want it to end. Unfortunately, my door was blown open by a concerned nurse who ended up with a most bewildered expression on her features.

It had to have been an interesting sight to a stranger, two teenage boys making out in a hospital bed, not strange, but certainly interesting. She looked flustered from intruding and I almost giggled at her apologetic expression that was mingling with embarrassment.

"Oh, goodness, I'm so sorry, I just...the pulse monitor...it was beeping faster than usual, please pardon my intrusion, I'm terribly sorry," the woman kept mumbling as she hurriedly escaped the room.

I felt quite bad for the woman and made a mental note to say something to her later.

Kendall and I exchanged a look and shrugged.

"So, does anybody know about us yet?" I asked him. Kendall looked away a moment before answering.

"Logan." He said, his tone flat and expressionless.

"Oh, is he the only one?"

"So far. Carlos is questioning but I promised I'd tell him after you woke up and I spoke to you. I still have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to tell my mom though, and Katie is a completely other story. God, this is going to change everything now," he said sounding very distressed.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Change everything? Kendall, all we did was say that we love each other and realize that we are meant to be together. Nothing is changing, just our relationship. We're still the same people, we didn't get new souls or bodies or anything, everything is the same." I said, slightly puzzled.

"Well, yeah, but, what if the group becomes more broken because of our relationship? I mean, James, I broke Logan's heart because I chose you. I loved you more than I could ever love him but it still killed him to have me say it to him. Carlos doesn't even know anything yet, the poor kid probably doesn't even know what sex is yet!" Kendall exclaimed. He was beginning to get slightly hysterical and it was frightening me.

"Kendall, shh...please calm down. Everything is going to be fine, don't worry, let me sort things out with the guys and everything will settle down again, especially once I get out of this stupid place." I tried to sound reassuring but even I was starting to become doubtful.

What if it did break us up? What is to become of BTR? What will Gustavo say? Ms. Knight? Carlos? How is Logan going to take all of this? Maybe Kendall is right, maybe this will change everything.

Maybe, everything will come crashing down around us like the rain on the pavement.

I rubbed circles on Kendall's back as he drifted off to sleep on my chest, thinking about whether or not I had a chance to save everything we all worked so hard to achieve, or if I would be forced to watch it all fall like snow. I hoped not.

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A/N: I have no idea when I'll be posting again. But please REVIEW. Any suggestions on how I should end this? In parts? More Chapters? A Dramatic Twist? Ideas will or will not be accepted it's all a matter of opinion but they are all greatly appreciated. I hope you liked it!


	10. Chapter 10: A Paradigm Shift

HEYYY! I know I haven't posted in ages but I've sort of fallen into a rut where nothing seems to want to work for me anymore and that includes my writing abilities. Yes, I now have writers block but I am hoping it will go away soon.

Disclaimer: I do not own the BTR boys, nor do I own House, Wilson, or Cuddy. Fox owns them and Nickelodeon owns BTR obviously.

I hope this chapter isn't too bad and I really hope that I will have something new for you all when I come back from my vacation.

Peace.

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**Carlos**

I buried my face in my hands in complete and utter distress along with confusion.

What was going on? How did this happen?

I was seated in a waiting room at a local hospital, dying to know how my friend was and if he was going to get better soon. Nothing too serious had happened, but James had been out for a long time with a dangerously high fever and had managed to catch pneumonia. The situation was bad.

For so long I had felt a tiny nagging feeling in the back of my mind whenever I saw James and Kendall together. Nothing ever happened that gave me the slightest indication about anything, but when the nurse told I me I was allowed to go into James' room, I knew immediately the nagging feeling was right.

Kendall was curled up next to James on the tiny hospital bed with his head resting in the crook of James' neck.

I began to shake. Whether it was out of excitement or anger I will never know, but it changed me. Cheesy as it sounds, it did.

Seeing two of your best friends in the entire world sleeping peacefully together is not an easy thing to cope with. It will affect you more deeply than anything in your whole life. Especially, if they are both boys or girls.

I didn't know what to do. My entire body shook then froze. My mind shut down.

What was I to do? Tell Logan? No, it wasn't my secret to share.

I couldn't exactly just waltz in there and wake them both up, they looked too happy.

I trudged back to my seat, dismayed. I was thrilled to death for my friends because I knew they'd finally found each other. However, now I had no idea what was to happen next.

I ended up falling asleep in the hospital chair, exhausted both mentally and physically. It wasn't exactly an ideal sleep but I managed to regain a little energy. I found Logan lounging in a chair next to me, idly fingering the edge of his light, dark blue jacket.

"Wha...Logan? What's going on?" I murmured sleepily, blinking furiously to get my eyes to better adjust to the screaming hospital lights. They were threatening to completely damage my retinas and it was not my favorite thing in the world to try to do.

Logan smiled softly at me and ran a finger down my cheek, as if in a trance.

I didn't know if he was fully aware of anything either, but it made me shiver in delight.

My response caused both of us to rear back in shock and make hurried, mumbled excuses to get as far away as possible from each other.

My face flushed like the setting sun as I power walked to a vending machine on the ground floor.

Why was I getting and worked up about this? Did I actually have feelings for him? For Logan? Yes, he is attractive. Yes, I have known him since we were eight. Yes, he has helped me through every single tough time I've experienced. But why now? Why him?

It's not that I didn't want it to be him, I just never anticipated anything like this.

My breath hitched in my throat as I saw him stroll down the hall and my face blanched.

Our eyes locked and everything else in my vision blurred. All I saw was him. Nothing else in the world existed except for him.

My heart was screaming at me to go to him but my muscles were frozen firmly in place as he grew larger in my sight.

"Carlos," Logan breathed, suddenly right in front of me.

I stumbled backwards in shock but he grabbed me firmly around my biceps and looked at me for a long moment.

"Logan, I..." My voice was shaky and I could hardly complete a coherent thought, let alone a verbal sentence.

Logan simply shook his head at me and pulled me by the hand down the hall. His touch shot electrical currents up my arm all the way to my heart and my mind was once again wiped blank as I stared at his perfect, flawless face.

He stopped abruptly and pulled me into a tiny janitor's closet. How he knew it was empty, I never learned. Besides, it's not like I really cared at that point anymore, he was ravishing my lips with his own and my entire body, mind, and soul was consumed with joy as he passionately against the door.

He slid is tongue along my lower lip and I impatiently parted my lips to allow him even more access to my mouth. He pulled back for a moment to draw in a deep breath and leaned his forehead against my own.

"Wow," I breathed. "that was certainly unexpected," I murmured quietly.

"But not unappreciated, I hope," Logan said, a small frown forming on the corners of his mouth.

"Not in the least," I grinned happily, trying to reassure him. I dropped a light kiss on his mouth and he finally turned his frown upside-down for me.

"Okay," he said in a silly voice. "I believe you" Logan smiled broadly at me and my heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings.

I wasn't even sure about what was going on at the moment because it all happened so fast, but I was too happy to really care. The only thing that kept my feet firmly planted on the ground was the thought of my two best friends together in a hospital bed; one of them quite ill.

My stress levels were rising again and Logan could tell. He shook his head at me for the second time that day and dragged me to yet another unknown area.

It was the cafeteria.

"Food?" I said warily. My stomach had been churning from the moment James had stormed out of the house the night before.

"Yes," Logan said firmly. "Even if you only decide to buy a bottle of water and a piece of fruit, it will be good for you. I don't care what you get as long as you feed yourself. You need to eat, James will be fine, he always is Carlos."

Hearing my name from Logan's lips made my stomach do little flips and it seemed to reset my entire body.

I ended up buying a turkey hoagie, a bag of chips, an apple, a chocolate brownie and a huge M&M cookie.

The two of us settled down at a table near two older gentleman, one who was obviously a doctor, and the other one was...a cripple. I didn't know who the guy was but he seemed to know the doctor. He could've also been a doc but neither of us were too sure, and the tongue lashing he was giving the doctor was not comforting so we avoided them as much as possible.

Unfortunately, they weren't trying to avoid us.

"Hey," the man with the cane snapped. Both of our heads whipped around to stare at the two men.

"Who is better, Justin Beaver or the JoHoe's?"

Logan and I glanced at each other in complete shock and confusion.

The doctor looked at us in sympathy, and the other man in exasperation.

"No, I'm sorry, you do not have to answer that question, I am sorry we bothered you. Come on, House, they're just kids, leave them alone. Let's GO," He said firmly. It wasn't firm enough.

"No, hold on," House said, interest now sparkling in his slightly unfocused gaze.

I looked at Logan and shrugged.

"Well, I don't really have a problem with either of them." I said honestly.

"See? I told you they wouldn't answer you the way you hoped. Now come on, we have to go see what Cuddy wants," the doctor protested yet again.

House barely heard him.

"Wait, did you say you don't really have a problem with either of them, as in the way that you actually KNOW those dweebs?" he sneered. "I told you, Wilson, I knew it the moment I saw them. These kids _are_ from around here," House actually was beginning to look interested but I was becoming more and more uncomfortable.

"Uh, yeah, Logan, I have to use the bathroom and I think James should be waking up by now, so, shall we?" I said nervously, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. Logan nodded with the weird look still plastered on his face.

We both scampered out of our seats and made a mad dash to James' room, hands intertwined.

"What the fuck...?" Kendall said, his voice high pitched and scratchy.

"Well, I suppose this is going to be one hell of a weekend, isn't it?" James said happily with a bemused expression on his features.

The three of us nodded in response.

One hell of a weekend indeed.

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Please review, and even shoot me some ideas because I am dry with new ideas. This is one of the last chapters and I will be ending this after about two or three more. I think...I hope it didn't suck too badly!


	11. Chapter 11: An Explanation of All Sorts

Hey all! I've been gone for what, a month? It's been way too long indeed. I hope you guys are all still at least mildly interested in my story still. Unfortunately not too much else happens after this chapter. Its going to end soon. Oh well...Enjoy!

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The tension in the room had grown from simply awkward to nearly unbearable.

"Somebody say something!" James exclaimed, flailing his arms. "This is killing me! We are four best friends from Minnesota and we can't even figure out how to start a conversation? This is pathetic. Carlos, what is going on?" His voice was steady but there was a rapid rise and fall of his chest that betrayed his frustration.

"Well...LOGAN!" Carlos cried, shoving the other boy in front of him. "You're better at explaining things, why don't you take point?"

Logan rolled his eyes and groaned. "I gotta get new friends," he muttered.

"James, I suppose Kendall has already filled you in on what happened to you when you collapsed?" James nodded.

"Good, then we don't have too much to explain then," Logan said with a grin.

"Meaning..." James said expectantly.

"That nothing really happened other than," Logan's voice trailed off and nobody understood what he said.

"Eh?" Carlos, Kendall and James all said in unison.

"Car...I...t toge..." He mumbled again.

"Logan, SPEAK UP!" The trio shouted.

"Carlos and I got together!" Logan exclaimed in fright.

The room suddenly got so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

James shifted in the bed and Kendall nearly fell off. "Careful, James," he muttered.

Carlos slid closer to Logan and they all just stared at each other for a few moments before Kendall finally said something.

"Okay then, so, we're all gay?" he asked, shrugging with his hands in the air.

The other three choked and began spluttering nonsense at him.

"KENDALL!" They managed to spit out.

"What?" he replied looking utterly baffled and completely innocent.

"It's just...not something we were expecting, that's all," Logan said still alarmed but slightly calmer now that he was finally able to come up with a logical explanation for the situation.

"Yeah, I get it, it's weird, it's new, it's uncomfortable, but are we all at least happy?" Kendall asked, looking around at all the boys.

They all exchanged glances, nodding assuredly.

"Then what is the big deal? If we are happy then there shouldn't be a problem," he said with finality in his voice.

"I love it when you make light of a situation," James said in a sappy voice.

Logan looked thoroughly disgusted and Carlos just smiled.

"They are kinda cute together, don't you think?" he asked Logan, tugging on the other boy's arm gently.

"If by 'cute' you mean 'cute' in a way that makes me want to hurl my guts, then yes, I couldn't agree more," Logan sneered.

Carlos looked hurt. "What, I thought we were, you know, together, is there something wrong with being, um, gay?"

Logan's face immediately morphed into one that was apologetic. "Oh, no, Carlos, I just mean that it's going to take me some getting used to, seeing the two of them together. We are together, I want to be together," he whispered, kissing Carlos' hand. "That is, if that's all right with you," he asked in a low voice.

"Y-yeah, I do," Carlos replied in a shaky voice. Logan's seductive voice and suggestive glances were making him go weak in the knees and both James and Kendall could see this.

Kendall shot a questioning look at James and received a nod in response.

"Guys, we have one last little problem!" Kendall announced loudly before Carlos and Logan started doing something that was not smiled upon by society in public.

Three heads snapped to attention.

"Hmm? And what would our 'last little problem' be?" Logan asked, mildly curious. He shifted in his stance, slightly unnerved. Carlos reached an arm around his shoulders protectively and James smiled from his spot on the bed at his two friends.

"Kelly and Gustavo don't need to know about our 'situations', but what the hell are we going to do about my mother?" At the utterance of the word 'mother' every single boy flinched.

Truly, they were now in a fix. They all lived in the same apartment with two women. (Even though Katie was technically still a girl, they all just thought of her as 'all grown up because of how mature she acts.) What were they to do? They couldn't hide it forever, especially not from the others that lived in the hotel with them.

The four of them puzzled over their dilemma for a few moments before Carlos snapped his fingers and broke into a wide grin.

"I know!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"What?" James said, mirroring his excitement.

"We should tell them the truth!"

"Are you nuts?" Kendall, James and Logan cried all at once.

Carlos looked a bit fearful.

"Wha...why not? It's the easiest solution," he replied sheepishly.

Logan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration as he glanced to Kendall in search of assistance.

"Carlos, we all know that you mean well for us, but telling my mother the truth would be detrimental to our well beings!"

"Yeah, if you want to have a depressed mother on your hands and one that would also might want to rip your head off, I really don't know which, then by all means, tell her about you and Logan, but Kendall and I will think of something else," James said, shaking his head.

Carlos looked rejected. "Well, it's not like you guys were coming up with anything," he muttered bitterly.

Kendall looked thoughtful for a moment before Logan began voicing the reasoning.

"I suppose, it would just get it out of the way for us and save us a lot of trouble and them a lot of needless guessing. It would also make it easier on us, to be living with them when they don't know about our situation, rather than living with them when they don't know," he shrugged.

The boys hmmed respectfully.

"All righty then, so if we are going to be doing this upfront and personal, we might as well make it good, but nothing that is going send her right where I am, okay?"

"Meaning what exactly?" Carlos asked, genuinely confused.

"I mean, we don't want to do anything too dramatic that could seriously affect Mrs. Knight's health that would cause her to have a heart attack or faint, understand now?" James asked again, flourishing his hands.

Carlos nodded, his mouth in a small 'O'. Logan rubbed the small of his back sympathetically as he thought for a moment.

"What if, we cooked her a nice meal, then talked about it over dinner?" he suggested.

"Sensible, reasonable, and completely safe! Let's just make it an easy food to eat, you know, one that isn't easy to choke on?" Kendall said.

"Jell-o?" James suggested.

"That could work," Logan said thoughtfully. "When are they going to let you come home?" he asked James after a moment.

"I'm not quite sure," James said, frowning.

"They said within 24 hours they would release you," Kendall said softly, gazing into James' eyes.

They smiled briefly at each other and turned back to their friends.

"Then I guess it's settled!" Carlos exclaimed. "We'll plan everything out here, then we will have Logan drive us to a supermarket to buy everything, Kendall will get his mom out of the house for a few hours while we prepare everything, then they will both go to get James and it will all just fall into place from there!"

James, Logan and Kendall all just stared.

"What?" Carlos asked, bemused by their faces.

"Nothing, Carlos. I think we are all just a bit...impressed at what you just said. It had nothing ridiculous in it and it actually made perfect sense. It was fantastic, really," Logan said with love and admiration shining in his voice.

Carlos beamed and received a light peck on the cheek.

"See? I'm not THAT stupid," he laughed.

James smiled at their relationship and was nonchalantly reminded of his own by a light squeeze of the hand from Kendall.

"Great, then it's all settled then?" Logan asked the troupe.

The boys exchanged nods and set to work on everything they would need for the morrow.

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Hope this wasn't too bad. Please review!


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